Put on your sunday best, Jareth!!
by Aidrienne Levine
Summary: Goblins rebel, Sarah gets an idea, Jareth goes to the Mall!!! S/j flick in the end, but I'll have to warn you, it's incredibly strange!
1. Sarahmeister

  
  
Hi! Tael's back in town! This little ditty was supposed to be   
  
funny, but I think I might've done a bad, bad job at it, and I   
  
apologize ahead of time. I don't own the Labyrinth, or anything   
  
in it, blah blah. I DO own Balthezar and her mere, and Mech,   
  
actually Mechlemel, and Amanda the slut but go ahead and use 'em. Read on, gentle   
  
reader. Peace, Ho! Tael speaks!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jareth was having a very bad month. After Sarah had   
  
left, the labyrinth had lost it's wonder. He didn't know where the   
  
wonder had gone, but her figured it was hiding somewhere in   
  
the Dream King's realms. Now, Wonder isn't cheap, and Goblin   
  
kicking isn't exactly a thriving industry, so He just couldn't   
  
afford it right now. He sighed and leaned his head up against the   
  
stone wall, rubbing his temples to clear his head.  
  
A small green was using the Goblin King's throne as a   
  
podium. He was doing something no other goblin had done   
  
before. Thinking for himself.  
  
Mech, as was his name, raised his hands for silence. "I'm   
  
Mech! Labyrinth is in ruins. King not takes care of it after Sarah   
  
left. Why we serve Jareth?" His question was answered with   
  
silence. Goblins need a little computation time.   
  
"Fear??" One goblin called out doubtingly.  
  
Mech smiled, "Good job. But is Jareth scary now? Sure   
he wears tights and plays with riding whips, but is he really   
really frightening?" Mech again waited for an answer.  
"No!" Came the unanimous reply. Jareth raised his head   
from the wall. The Goblins were up to something…  
"Jareth lost his scariness! Now he's been beat. He's not   
scary, but Sarah is!! We should serve scary Sarah, no? Don't we   
deserve the scariest? Join me, on the other side!!!" and with   
that, Mech used his limited goblin magic to blink into the Human   
world, going to serve Scary Sarah. The goblins were in utter   
confusion. They wanted to serve Sarah, but had pledged   
themselves to Jareth. Luckily, Jareth came in and solved it for   
them.  
"Freeze!" He shouted above the ruckus. He had just   
caught the end of Mech's moving speech, yet he was less than   
impressed. "Everyone go back to your tasks! Or else you can   
deal with me!!" He bent down so he was eye level with the   
majority of the goblins. The cruel look in his eyes dared them to   
threaten his judgment. They scattered out of the room, not   
wanting to feel the wrath of his ire.   
King Jareth ribbed his forehead fitfully as he paced the   
throne room. A goblin mutiny? It was unheard of! His fore   
goblins would look on him in utter dismay, and maybe even   
change him back into the nasty Goblin he once was. Then he   
would never fill out his tights! If he didn't get his subjects in line,   
and soon, he was facing some pretty nasty changes, like losing   
his kingship and his figure!  
The only silver lining here was that Sarah was now stuck   
with one of his goblins. He pulled out a crystal, and twirled it   
into his palm.   
Sarah awoke to something jumping on her midsection.  
"AHHH!!!!!" She screamed.  
"AHHH!!!!" It screamed.  
Sarah kicked Mech of her bed, grabbing for a unicorn   
statuette to throw at him. "What the hell are you?" she hissed,   
keeping her voice low, so as not to wake her family.  
Mech cowered, she was frightening. "I'm a   
Goblin…..whhushhh!" He didn't even finish the word before he   
dived aside to save himself from being unicorn food. "I'm your   
humble servant!"  
"Yeah, right. Why Did Jareth send you. I whooped his   
arse like Brian Boytano! He has no right to harass me by   
sending me freaks like you!" She said, calming down.  
"Lady Sarah, he didn't send me. I came, of my own free   
will. I wish to serve you, Sarah the scariest." Mech said, bowing   
low. Sarah wasn't sure she liked being called Scary Sarah.  
"Left Jareth? You rebelled against your king? Ha ha,   
two points for the Sarahmeister!" She was amused by this   
interesting development in the S/J saga. Too bad this   
amusement wouldn't last.  
  
  
  
Jareth watched grinning at his crystal ball. Sarah had   
accepted Mech as her humble servant, and he was totally driving   
"Scary Sarah" insane. He was constantly underfoot, and Sarah   
was growing slightly annoyed. The King watched as Mech flew   
across the room, for the second time. So Sarah had turned into a   
goblin kicker too. She'd make a great front-liner on the Goblin   
Ball team, but mortals weren't allowed. The fury on her face was   
readable even in the blurry crystal vision. Jareth threw back his   
head and cackled, as an evil person would. The goblins stared at   
him quizzically. "Well? Laugh!" He shouted. Laughter echoed   
through the Labyrinth.  
  
  
  
There was no laughter in two weeks. Over ten goblins   
had already blinked out, joining Mech in his servitude to their   
new queen, Scary Sarah. Only by some great miracle sent from   
the Great Gods had Sarah kept her subjects from being   
discovered.   
Jareth wasn't having too good of a time either. His   
goblins grew more and more rebellious every day. No longer   
was he cold and untouchable; it seemed like everyone had   
power over him now. Since when was he a leader who could be   
persuaded?  
After fifteen goblins had blinked over into Sarah's world,   
she was fed up. It was getting harder and harder for Sarah to   
convince her goblins to stay home when she had to go to lycee.   
When she finally had to tie them up in the closet (Karen flipped   
over the disappearance of her bondage gear), Sarah knew it was   
definitely time for drastic measures.  
  
  
  
Since her parents had left her alone for the day, again,   
Sarah was alone in the house with only the Goblins. Toby was at   
their aunts, and her parents were watching dog racing. She had   
kicked all of the goblins out of her room, threatening to dump   
them in the bog of eternal stench (they didn't know she   
couldn't), so she could contact Jareth. She wasn't sure exactly   
how to go about contacting Jareth, seeing as she didn't have an   
inter-dimensional cell phone, or crystal, or whatever they used   
now. She only knew one way to do it, and it would require all of   
her acting skill.  
She took a deep breath and cleared her mind, trying to   
picture the goblin king there without the feeling of bitter disgust   
that usually went with it. She tried to get that mullet-ishius hair   
cut, that wild makeup, and everything else the reminded her of   
the goblins king unusual figure. She needed to summon him.  
"Goblin King, I need you, all of you!" She cried, with all   
of the usual feeling she used when calling her friends. "Damn."   
She grimaced when she realized the extreme strangeness that   
had sounded like. All of him? She was mental swearing at   
herself for that when she felt him behind her.  
"All of me?" He whispered in her ear. She twirled around   
and almost hit him.  
"Shut up. You know I didn't mean that." She growled   
through clenched teeth. Jareth nodded in mock sorrow. " Heard   
you're not so scary any more, Mr. I-wear-leggings."  
Jareth was surprised by her cockiness. Since when had   
this little human become scarier than he? She must've gained   
some scariosity since her time with him.  
" Actually, no…they, they are in love with you, Sarah."   
He struggled for an answer.  
Now he was on Sarah's turf. None of his magic even   
worked except for his crystal throwing and bird-changing and   
the like.   
"The goblins love me?" she asked quizzically. She knew   
he was reaching. "You want them back, right?"  
Jareth sighed. "Yes, I'd appreciate it." He noticed Sarah   
grinned cruelly at him.  
She had an idea; an idea for revenge. If the goblin king   
wanted his goblins back so badly, he could earn them back.   
Sarah just had to think up the right thing…  
"Okay, King, say 'I'd do anything to get back my little   
goblins who, every night, I have…."   
Jareth interrupted her almost definitely insulting   
command. "Sarah, please, remember my generosity. You don't   
even like them."  
"Neither do you! What generosity? You were the one who   
stole my baby brother in the first place!" she shouted, ready to   
join in the argument again. Jareth sat down on her bed, face in   
his hands.   
Through his fingers, just audible above the racket the   
goblins were making downstairs. "I'll do anything to get back my   
goblins that I do nothing with every night." He looked at her   
through his fingers in disdain.  
Jareth could tell by the absolutely cruel look in her eyes   
('your eyes can be so cruel, just as I can be so cruel') that she   
had something in mind even worse than what she suspect he   
and his goblins did. Worse even than dancing around in   
spandex tights surrounded by frightening Muppets, or living   
inside a poorly made cardboard model. Much, much worse.  
  



	2. Make-up mullet

  
  
  
  
  
  
"You have to get me a tape. A VCR tape. I won't tell you which one, but   
you'll know." Sarah's smile was a sun compared to the pale moon of Jareth's   
sour face.  
" Sarah, I don't even know what a tape is! I'm not learned in terran   
technology."  
" Oh, well you seemed to use that riding whip well enough. Too bad."  
Sarah said, mockery adding a dagger's edge to her smile. She reached for the   
little bell by the side of her bed she used to call her goblin-slaves.  
Jareth's look shot daggers. "I'll find my own way out, thank you. I don't   
think the goblins would appreciate my being here. "Scary Sarah" can be   
promenading with her arch enemy, you know." He said, brushing her cheek with   
one gloved hand. She jerked away and slapped him. "Oooow!!! Now, Sarah,   
that," his voice was high and screechy with pain," was uncalled for!"  
Sarah grinned at him uncannily, yet he continued, regaining some   
composure. " When I return, with this tape, I'll have my goblins, no matter   
what." And with that dark comment, Jareth changed not an owl and flew away.   
  
  
  
Jareth landed in a dark alley towards the middle of Sarah's suburban   
town. After turning back into his dashing human form, Jareth realized he would   
need to find some human cloths. He couldn't be waltzing around town in his   
tights, causing car accidents and the like now could he! Unfortunately, last time   
he'd been down here, he had asked a human for help in choosing some cloths.   
She had informed him that he should wear nothing but something she called   
boxers, and the results of that were quite interesting. He had spent a night in   
jail. He knew his underground cloths weren't considered 'normal' per sae, so he   
needed some aboveground ones.  
Luckily, he was in a concealed alley, so he shed his cloths and went out   
to find new ones. The door across from him seemed like a good place to start,   
so he entered. The sign on the door had said 'no admittance, private property',   
but how was he supposed to know that? Inside the door, he was in a large   
unheated room. The breeze was quite uncomfortable, and so he decided to put   
his tights back on. He searched around the room, and met only one person, a   
young woman who blushed and then fainted at the sight of him. He often had   
that effect on mortals.  
This room was full of boxes, and inside of them he found cloths! "Well   
that's helpful." He said to the unconscious woman. He started to search for   
ones closer to his size. This was quite a complicated task, for mortal fashion,   
like their technology, was quite beyond him. Men never wore skirts, that much   
he knew. That was mainly all he knew.  
Finally, the goblin king was happy with his outfit. He was dressed in a black   
pair of pants (the bell bottoms had been too short. A fancy crimson shirt, from   
which he had had to remove many annoying pins, just suited him. He had kept   
on his expensive Italian-made high-heeled boots (what, do you think they make   
everything in the underground?), because he had seen a pair or two like them   
in boxes. He did not know they were for women. He finished this ensemble with   
a long black fake trench coat, although the theory of fake leather was totally   
confusing to him. Finally, dress to the best, Jareth walked out into the store.  
If simply walking out of the employee door didn't get him in enough   
trouble, there was also the fact of his face. Not the face itself, but the eye-paint   
he wore, as well as his unusual hairstyle. The fact that he was in the ladies   
undergarment section didn't help much either. Jareth tried confusedly to explain   
his predicament, but the Mall Mounties paid him no heed as they threw him out   
of the store. A particularly chubby one yelled at him, "Get out and stay out you   
make-up mullet freak! The eighties are over!!"  
Jareth understood none of this, but as he walked quickly away from the   
store he tried to rub of his eye-paint, and flatten down his unruly hair. When   
he'd done his best, he reviewed his surroundings. He was in a corridor of sorts,   
but the openings of many stores surrounded him. He looked for a way out   
confusedly, but everywhere were these force fields, cool and hard to the touch,   
yet perfectly clear. He sensed they were somehow doors, but he couldn't figure   
out how to open them. "Well, this is just wonderful. "He said to himself. "I'll   
never navigate this labyrinth!"   
Sarah was craftier than she appeared. Now he was trapped in a huge   
crowded place, full of people who hated him. Not the best circumstances.   
Perhaps he could exit form a store, like the one he had dressed in. He walked   
into a store to his immediate right. He immediately ran out. The store had been   
full of perfume!!! Jareth caught his breath, and prayed he would be rid of that   
smell before he reentered the Labyrinth. He walked on meekly; fearful the next   
store might be a dreadful as that one.  
He tried his hardest to ignore the dirty looks he was getting. His pride   
and temper got the best of him when an old woman walking with her two   
grandkids, he supposed, stopped to lecture him.  
"You shouldn't go out lookng that outrageous in public!" she said   
crustily.  
"You remind me of the babe." Jareth said politely.  
"why…I….what babe?" she stuttered.  
"The babe with the power." He answered. The old woman turned red in the   
face.   
She turned to walk away, but the little boy she dragged along cried out,   
"What power?"  
Jareth grinned at him and pointed his hand at him in common spell-casting   
position 3.5, with a slight variation of the pointer finger. Anyway, he answers   
"the power of voodoo!" the old woman had whisked away the kid, leaving Jareth   
humming the rest of the song to himself. He unconsciously walked faster,   
fearing the Mall Mounties.  
The king needed some mortal to answer his questions about a Vcr tape,   
what ever that was. He saw a girl sitting outside of a store, deliberately   
coughing on people as they walked by. Something about her dark hair and eyes   
reminded him of a more comic looking Sarah. She looked like the kind of person   
who wouldn't be easily disturbed by him. She couched on him as he turned to   
face her.  
"Oh, sorry sir, I have this cold…." Her voice trailed off as she noticed   
Jareth's 'unusual 'appearance. Apparently, his hair smoothing hadn't done the   
trick.   
"Miss, I kindly request your assistance." He said, bowing low to this girl,   
who gazed on amazed.  
"Well (sir weirdo," she muttered,) "I …um…what can I do for you. I'm   
RrmoondeK." She said, with a bizarre Russian accent on her name.  
"RRRmoon duck? What? That's not your real name…" Jareth started.   
RrmoondeK laughed.  
"No, it's actually Balthzar, prince of darkness and apprentice to eeevil."   
she said, brushing her dark hair out of her eyes.  
This calmed Jareth, who did not appreciate being tricked by mortals. Thank   
the Great Gods he had found another immortal noble, like himself. "Well, I'm   
Jareth, the king of goblins, I'm sure you've heard of me…"  
"Oh, yes." Balthezar thought he was just playing along.  
"Yes, well I'm on a quest for a mortal, yes, a lousy mortal, and she want   
me to find her a tape." He finished; his nerves calmed now that he had found   
someone like him.  
Balthezar grinned at him, though she thought he had taken this joke too   
far, "what kind of tape? Scotch tape, tape tape, video tape, duct tape?"  
"Duck tape? Wouldn't that hurt?" Jareth asked truthfully. Balthezar   
nodded sadly. "Well, Sarah said it was a veecee R-tape."  
Balthezar cowered in the dawn of understanding. "Of, a video. Video and   
vcr are the same thing." She added, seeing his disturbed look.   
"Oh! You know what they are?" Jareth said amazed. "You must truly be   
learned in the ways of humans. Here, take this, so you can find me in the divine   
realms, the Underground." Jareth handed her a shimmering card, with a crystal   
ball in which scrolling letters read "Jareth, ruling King of   
goblins, and labyrinthine master; call for a good   
time."   
"Thanks…" she managed, amazed by this unique business card.   
"Sorry, but I don't have mine on me…"  
"That's fine, but…"  
"GET AWAY FROM MY DAUGHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" a dreadful voice said, from   
behind them. Jareth shivered in his women's boots.  



	3. The mallarinth

"Melissa!" "Balthezars's" startled mother's voice came from   
behind them. "What are you doing with that crazy loon?! If you even   
hurt her…"  
Jareth stood up to face her, laying charm thickly throughout his   
words. "Surely you do not mean to say I was threatening to hurt your   
daughter in anyway. Why Madame, I was simply asking her a   
directional question, which she answered politely." The angry mother   
stared at him, slack jawed. As she tried to force out the words, Jareth   
walked away.  
Melissa, as she had been called, yelled after him, "You can find   
any tape at the Best Buy store!"   
Jareth whirled about to inform her that he couldn't read Earthly   
letters, but seeing the angry mothers scowl decided against it. So on he   
went, dodging through the groups of people that haunted this peculiar   
place. It wasn't long before he came to the end of one of the halls: he   
could go either left or right. Straight led outside, onto a huge spread of   
parked cars, but there was a force field blocking it. Right led into a   
large store, the biggest Jareth had seen yet, and the doorway was lit   
with three-foot tall glowing letter.  
"Right is right," he muttered to himself, a phrase commonly used   
by the Goblins to find their ways around his castle. He walked into the   
large store, hoping against hope that it nwas best buy. He paused briefly   
to overhear some conversation.   
"Why'd you buy that?" One teenager asked.  
"Well don't you just love a bargain? Best buy rules…" Another   
teen, clutching a plastic bag answered.  
Jareth grinned to himself, "So this is Best Buy." He didn't notice   
the female cashier glancing sidelong at him. He walked up to her. Her   
name was Amanda, he noticed from the nametag she wore. "Miss,   
where is the Video section?"   
Amanda looked at him, smiling at him a little too brightly,"   
Videos are that way, Mr. .um…um…" she stalled deliberately for a   
name.  
"Jareth."  
"Jareth. There right over here," she took him and led him by the   
elbow, of which he didn't object to, since Best Buy was clearly as hard   
to navigate as the main section of this horrid place. "You know, you   
look really …um…foreign. Are you from around here?" She asked, her   
voice lilting and bright.  
"I'm from the Lab…um…a scientific lab, that is." Jareth said,   
hoping this chick wasn't as bright as she didn't look.  
Amanda looked at him very sadly. "You were   
artificially…um…intimidated then?" She asked with the sincerest   
apathy.  
Jareth repressed a snicker. "Yes, something like that." They had   
reached a section full of small boxes. The blond-headed cashier showed   
him the videos with a wave of her hands.   
"Is there anything spec ific your looking for?" She changed the   
real hard words into easier words she knew. Now Jareth grimaced.   
There had to be thousands of tapes here. He could never find the one   
Sarah wanted. In the name of Gainel, the dream king, how was he going   
to pull this one off? Amanda sensed his confusion. "Um…Can I help   
you find what you're looking for?"  
"Yes…I'm looking for one…well, what's your favorite?" He   
asked her, praying she and Sarah might have something in common,   
like their taste in VCR tapes.  
"Hee hee. They don't sell it here." Amanda said quietly. Jareth   
caught her meaning by the look in her eyes. "What's your favorite, she   
asked in a husky voice.  
The goblin king's eyes went wide. Favorite…favorite. "The   
Labyrinth." He answered quickly. He held his breath.   
Amanda nodded. You remind me of the baybe." She over-  
pronounced the last word, stepping closer to him, tracing a finger down   
his chest.  
"The babe with the power," he murmured down to her. It   
unnerved him that Sarah's experience (or Toby's actually, Sarah had   
never heard that song) in the Labyrinth would be such public   
knowledge. "Could you find it for me?" his voice was more musical   
now; he had found his item.  
Amanda smiled at him and walked over to the Ls (though Jareth   
couldn't tell this). She pulled out a brown video with a picture on the   
cover. Jareth looked closer at it, and found a picture of…him!  
"Oh, 'Manda!" He cried softly, using all his Labyrinthine charm.   
She couldn't see the picture on the cover, or else…well, he didn't know   
what else. Also, he had no money, an item he'd found was very   
important in the mortal realms. "What an angel. You've been such help.   
How can I thank you?"  
"I know a way." Amanda whispered in his ear. Jareth was utterly   
disgusted. Being as old as he was, with your pick of nymphs and Fairies   
and the like, humans just weren't that attractive any more. The only   
one he'd ever had eyes for had been Sarah, though he wasn't likely to   
admit that. But Jareth knew his charm could tempt, even men had   
fallen for him; he still disliked using it to his advantage.  
"Is there any where more private?" e asked, glad to stall for a way   
out. As he had hoped, she grabbed his hand to lead him to the back   
room. Once they reached the storage space, he was glad to see an open   
door. He shoved the tape in his mouth/beak, turned into the snowy barn   
owl, and flew for safety. He was terribly relieved Amanda was terribly   
disappointed. After all, it's not everyday David Bowie gets amnesia and   
starts hitting on you. She didn't even notice a large bird fly out the door.  
  
  
  
Music pounded through Sarah's house. The goblins had gotten   
into a fight with each other just as her parents had gotten home. Sarah   
would rather get screamed at for the ear-splitting "Good Charlotte"   
music, on volume 10, then for having a bunch of brawling goblins.   
Sarah was shoving goblins into the closet as fast as she could, wishing   
she had a distraction or something.   
She was almost relieved when Jareth returned. Unfortunately, he   
just walked in her house right through the front door. Wearing his old   
cloths.  
"Sarah! I've found it!" He shouted up the stairs. Sarah could   
almost see Karen wince. She clicked off her radio and zoomed   
downstairs. Karen was in the living room, staring open mouthed at   
Jareth, more directly his tights.  
" Jareth, what the hell are you doing here? Do you want Karen to   
have a heart attack?" She shouted over the goblins shouting upstairs.   
Luckily Karen was too intent of the Goblin king to worry about his   
subjects (actually Sarah's subjects, now).  
"Suh…Suh…Sarah, do you know this man?" Karen stuttered.   
Her eyes were bugging out of her head.   
Sarah giggled. "Oh, yeah! He and I go way back." Sarah would   
do anything to see Karen in distress, which she obviously was now.   
"Actually, he and I are…you know…"  
Karen's eyes got wider, if that's humanly possible. "No, I no.   
Don't know…" She looked like she would die.  
Jareth caught on to her game, gesturing towards her, "Come here,   
Sarah love."  
She walked towards him cautiously, hiding her disgust as he pulled   
her towards him in a tight hug. She had to hold her breath to keep from   
shout laughing at Karen's utter surprise. She did laugh when Karen   
fainted. Her and Jareth laughed and laughed, eventually the Goblins   
came down to check on her. They did not understand, and stood   
perplexedly. "Well!?" Jareth said, between laughs. The goblins joined   
him, and Jareth and his inhuman crew (Sarah's inhuman crew,   
actually) laughed and laughed, until Sarah punched Jareth in the arm   
to get his attention. It sounded a little like this.  
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, owww." Jareth said, looking more hurt   
than a goblin king aught to after being punched by a girl.  
Sarah looked impressed with herself. " Back to business. Did you   
get the tape." She looked at the Goblins. "Please tell me you found the   
tape."  
Jareth grinned at her and produced the tape like any crystal.  
" You're better than I thought." She said approvingly. "Now   
take your fraggin' goblins home. I don't want them."  
Jareth looked at her cruelly, not unlike she had looked at him   
when she had assigned this task, "There's a slight complication. You   
see, the goblins are mortal, unlike me. They have the power to transfer   
between worlds only once in their lifetimes. They used that, and now   
they cannot get back with out their leader going into the underground,   
briefly. They will automatically be forced to follow you."  
Sarah looked at him blankly. "But I went through twice." She   
recalled, though she had understood very little of Jareth's explanation.  
"That was under my power. Now you have to go, under your   
own power, or else the Goblins can never return to the Underground."   
He explained to Sarah, who seemed to be a stupid goblin herself right   
now. So the touch-poison had worked…  
Sarah looked at him, uncomprehendingly. Why did she   
suddenly feel so dumb. "I don't know how…" She paused for a moment,   
trying to remember the rest of her sentence. "To go to the labyrinth."  
"You don't want the Goblins here, right" Sarah nodded, then   
shook her head, then did a mixture of both. She felt so weird… "Well,   
first you have to say you'd do anything to get them back into the   
underground."  
Sarah looked at him, and slowly repeated, in mumbled words.   
She handed the tape back into Jareth's gloved hands. Jareth carefully   
put it down, careful not to let it touch his skin. He needed his full   
aptitude to pull off this trickery.  
"Okay, take my hand, and I'll guide you through. Close your   
eyes and think really hard about the Labyrinth, and all the fun you had   
there…." Sarah hesitantly grasped his hand, and he tapped her magick   
to pull her and the goblins into the labyrinth…  
  
  
  
  
Sarah woke up with a terrible headache. She was in a dark   
room, lying in a huge bed with dark cherry head and feet boards. "How   
did I get here...?"  
"But surely you remember!" The voice next to her said. Sarah   
shouted and jumped out of the bed. "Calm down. I poisoned you and   
brought you here. Sarah remembered suddenly. So that is why she had   
felt so strange. She remembered taking Jareth's hand, then everything   
went dark.  
" Relax." Jareth muttered as Sarah searched around frantically   
for something to throw at him. "You were out for all of five minutes.   
You landed right there."  
"I want to go home!!!" She screeched. Perhaps not the entire   
potion had worn off.  
Jareth frowned a fake mocking frown. "Oh, but Sarah, surely   
you remember out conversation. Mortals can only transfer through   
once, under your own power."  
"ERGGG!!!!" Sarah screamed, waving her arms about   
dramatically. "IT"S NOT…"  
"Please, spare me Sarah" Came the annoyed reply.   
Sarah ranted about the room, crashing and crushing every   
breakable trinket she could find, not noticing the Farina made things   
restoring themselves to wholeness at Jareth's mental orders. "You!"   
Sarah pointed her finger at Jareth. "You, you can take me back! You're   
not mortal!"  
Jareth stood and stretched, looking as relaxed as ever. "I could."   
He yawned at her. He was still tired from his escapades on Terra. "If I   
wished to."  
Sarah widened her eyes at his sudden reversion to obnoxious   
kingly Jareth. "Well? Wish to."  
"No. I need a new maid… Who wants a mortal life anyway?"   
Jareth retorted, and evil smirk spreading across his face. Sarah stalked   
across the room, and punched him in the stomach. Jareth doubled in   
pain. "Owww! No need to be violent!"  
Sarah glared at him, and he glared back.He smiled at her,   
and she rested her head on his shoulder and lightly punched him on the   
chest. Jareth's grinned widened, and he pulled her closer. Sarah looked   
up, and kissed him lightly, then she punched him in the eye. His eyes   
would've widened in surprise if they weren't already swelling.  
"I hate you Jareth." She said quietly to him."  
Jareth sighed in happiness. "I hate you too, love.  
  
Sarah and Jareth had a long, abusive relationship.  
They had many mutated children (for Jareth is half-goblin).  
Karen did not attend their wedding reception.   
Amanda went on to have 19 children. She hates kids.  
The old woman had a heart attack  
Fainting Sales lady went on to become a nude artist with a fetish   
for tights   
Balthezar, prince of darkness, and apprentice to eeevil attended   
the wedding, then accepted an offer to actually become Balthezar,   
prince of darkness and apprentice to eeevil, made by the great gods. She   
now lives happily with Gainel, King of Dreams. This story is really   
about her.  
The End.  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
